he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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