Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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