NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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