did you get engaged???
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
