all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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