Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You ate ashes out of my bong
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
