Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
