dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
