I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
