does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Girls should come with a carfax report
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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