I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
