Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
