It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
