I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
