I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
