I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
