i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
