just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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