you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
