if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
