he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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