You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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