i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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