Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
