READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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