if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
