I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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