If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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