did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
