i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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