I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
