Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
