oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
