I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
