A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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