Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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