Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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