your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Everyone says I win the strip club
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
