Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
