Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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