Soap is not a condiment
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
