I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
