I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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