i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
