I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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