I cannot find my penis.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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