Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
