one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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