i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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