What a fucking waste of an outfit
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
