North Korea, Best Korea!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
