This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
