There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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